Being Right - Alternate Love Language #1

Sometimes Sam and I will be discussing a matter and I have a viewpoint and he has a viewpoint. At a certain place in the conversation he will see my point, recognize that I was right all along and say, "You know, you're right about that!" to which I will soften, smile, relax and say, "I feel SO loved right now."

Problem comes when I'm not always right, and I've had to learn that just because this is my love language doesn't mean I need to feel unloved whenever I'm wrong about something.  It just means I need to correct my views so I'm back in the right again.  Over the years this part of me - the need to be right - has had many shifts and transitions, and I've come to realize I've been more wrong than I've been right for the most part, which must mean that at this point I am the most right I'll ever be! Until tomorrow, of course, when new thoughts, ideas or knowledge will inform my dim view and I will come once again into 'rightness'.

The core need or point of growth for someone with this love language is to grow in humility. My need to be right about everything has set me up for many pitfalls and struggles. And the core need of the partner of one with this love language is patience and ability to listen. People who need to feel right about everything have some unique traits - and those who love them will need to go the extra mile to make space for their abundance of opinions - often strong opinions - about almost everything.

The underlying need for one whose love language is 'Being Right' is for validation - to be heard, noticed, understood and made room for. Maybe it stems from unmet needs during developmental years - maybe it is more likely in younger children in the family structure who often are dismissed as immature and not taken seriously.

So yes, in fact, 'Being Right' IS a love language - and goes beyond mere words of affirmation.

If this is your love language, I suggest we start a support group for people like me - and for spouses of those like me :)

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