Bees in My Bonnet

 Ever since I was 11 and saw the movie, 'The Boy Who Could Fly' I had my ears perked for any article or mention of Autism. In Hong Kong, there weren't many movies that came out in English, so if there was one that wasn't off-limits for kids, we would see it, even if we weren't interested in it. The novelty of seeing a movie in English superseded our pickiness about content. I had barely heard the word 'autistic' before, and naturally imagined it must be a mispronunciation of 'artistic'. But the movie gave me another perspective. Because I had so many struggles with learning, attention, and getting along with my peers, I was fascinated by the insights I would find in an article or book on autism. I was fascinated that recognition was being given to the various kinds of people in world.  People God made.  People whose outlook was different.  People similar to me.  I could relate to some of what I read, and what I didn't relate to, I began to unders...

In case anyone is in doubt, I'll just put this out there: I need a LOT of help. I am not type A or even type B. By the time you get to X, Y or Z...I'm in there somewhere. I've always been scatter-brained - I still have some of my report cards which repeatedly pointed out my daydreaming habits. So, I'm sure you will be surprised to find out that I struggle with a thing called Chronic Disorganization. Combine that with a thing called A.D.D., (I like to think of that as Alternately Designed Diva), and a few other acronyms and labels that are especially helpful in addressing my various issues, and you get ME. That is my preface to the rest of what I'm about to put here. I'm posting this partly because it is so entertaining...but also because I am exceedingly grateful for the delightful person who wrote the response - who helped me out in my distress some time ago. Not only did she help me address a potentially riddled-with-relational-mines interaction, with hilar...

Today I am grateful for my mother-in-law, Lois Logan. Here is why:  She came to live with us 8 years ago, and even though she is legally blind, and has occasional other challenges, she has faithfully helped in our home, especially in kitchen cleanup and setting the table. When Andrew and Hannah were babies, she welcomed them to her bedroom when they were a nuisance in the night.  Often she would deliver them to me for night feedings and retrieve them so I could get better rest. She is an amazing woman.  She rarely complains about anything - is probably one of the most contented people I've ever known.  She is happy despite her many limitations.   She was born in Lucknow, India and later lived in Karachi before the formation of what is now Pakistan.  Later she moved to South Africa with her parents to complete her nurses training.  She studied at Emmaus Bible College, which was at the time in Oak Park, Illinois near Chicago.  S...

5.  Become Pragmatic Do you know what Pragmatism is?  It means doing the practical thing over the ideal thing or the creative thing or the ______(insert descriptor here)________ thing.  I love aesthetics (when things look beautiful) - but I don't have the time, energy or resources to fix everything around me up nice and pretty.  I see people's beautiful kitchens.  And I sometimes want my kitchen to be like that.  But I cook in my kitchen.  I love all my super gadgets.  People with pristine kitchens often don't cook much or have no addiction to gadgets like I do.  So I have decided to  just be myself about my kitchen.   It may not be fancy-schmancy.  It is  mine.   I have stuff out everywhere - accessible.  I have decided my dream kitchen is no longer the stuff I see in magazines.  My dream kitchen is an industrial kitchen with easy-to-clean open shelving and carts - and it look cluttery and very practical...

Got a bee in my bonnet... Gonna let it fly. Snooty graceless people run around putting others under their particular microscope.  It is not a microscope of virtue or righteousness according to actual moral standards.  Oh no.  It is the microscope of 'my own personal standards'.  Generally this applies to external things like: appearance housekeeping parenting diet and exercise habits (or lack thereof) financial choices (add your own here) They are the most miserable, unhappy people.  They purse their lips and sigh and think to themselves, "If only they would do what I would do, life would be so much better for them."  They pat themselves on the back and think of themselves as more righteous, holy, with-it, together...  They sadly look at others and think, "If only..." they could be as happy as I am... Sour, judgemental as I am. Snooty graceless people burden others with their opinion (value-less might I add) of them.  They think it ac...

Last night Caleb was whining about Timo not pulling his window shade down. Nothing unusual - the normal sorts of bickering, arguing and annoyances of sharing a room with your little brother. He was rather pouty and I told him to point his finger at Timo and tell me the thing he did wrong. He did - pointed his finger and said he didn't listen and do what Caleb had asked. I said, 'Okay, now tell me how many fingers are pointing at you.' He said, 'None.' I said, 'No, look carefully.' He looked. 'None,' he said. So I pointed to the three fingers curled up underneath the one he was pointing at Timo. I then said, 'Please tell me three things you are doing wrong.' I showed him how the three fingers were pointing back at himself. And that whenever you are about to criticize and find fault with others, just be sure to name at least three of your own for every one you spot in someone else. "Be completely humble and gentle." I sai...

I have a secret. I'm going to get it out in the open here and now and just be done with it. Here it is: I am FAR worse a person than you think I am. I am not saying this to be self-denigrating. I am not eliciting sympathy, flattery or anything of the sort. I am merely putting this out there so we'll all be on the same page. Even if you are one of my critics, this statement is still true. If you think I'm self-absorbed, you're right, but probably I'm more than that - narcissistic even. If you think I waste time, you're right, but more than you know. What I'm saying is, no matter what light you view me in (and I know, for most of you, it's positive), you are probably far too generous is your estimations. Granted, I'm more than a little nutty - extremely bizarre and unique might qualify. But I'm not referring here to my idiosyncrasies, of which I have more than a few. I am referring to all my own worst qualities, and even the good ones whi...

I am fed up with spiritual platitudes and nice-isms. They don’t work for me. Instead they communicate judgement and rejection. “Take your frustrations to God.” Are you saying I don’t already do this? “Where is your joy?” Are you saying that simply because you detect frustration that there is a lack of joy in me? Seeing through these phrases, all I can see is judgement. Don’t deny it and dress it up in any other language. This is exactly what comes through. By saying these things it creates an atmosphere of insincerity. These comments send the message: don’t be honest and open with me. Wear a pretty smile and all will be well. Keep your frustrations between you and God. Don’t share them with me. Don’t be real with me. Instead, just be like ______________(insert story of missionary who didn't get frustrated when all went against him) – bumble along with thoughts of ‘all will be well’. That’s fine for him, but God (I am sure of this) makes room fo...

"Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes." Verses from 1 Corinthians 4 I recently read these verses and am astonished that in my 30 some odd years of reading capability I have missed these precious truths! Oh how much grief I would have been spared had I known that Paul a) didn’t judge himself b) had a clear conscience, but still knew the Lord would judge and c) instructs us to wait until the Lord’s return to do any judging. I posted this as my status for today on facebook and someone asked me what it means to me. Of course the question ‘What does it mean to me?’ can lead to wrong conclusions because Scripture has a meaning, the author intended to say something ...

I once thought a fitting title for a review of the relational struggles of my life could be: Judged. I limit it to relational stuff because it wouldn't be a fitting title for my whole life since so much else has happened that takes center stage. But when I think of how I've lived with and around others 'Judged' is probably the first word that comes to mind. A couple years ago I heard a sermon on not judging others. It was a very good message - and helpful, challenging, convicting as sermons tend to be. At the same time it left me very frustrated. I felt like I was the proverbial 'choir' being preached to. I wanted to stand up in the middle and say, 'Yes, I know all that - about not judging others - but what do you do about those who chronically judge you?' Of course I had barely enough self-control to not do that. (I wonder what church would look like if we could raise our hand and ask a question in the middle of a sermon? Wouldn't it be fun?! It...