Bees in My Bonnet

The news story of the missing Malaysian Airlines plane has had our family transfixed.  We have no personal knowledge of anyone on that plane.  Perhaps it is the magnitude of the grief and tragedy that these families have faced over the past 18 days.  Perhaps it is because both Sam and I have extended family that frequently travel similar routes - my parents even more often.  But after thinking about it and watching the daily headlines and wondering what good can come of this, and entering - albeit from a huge distance - into empathetic grief along with the families affected, I came up with what I feel is the worst aspect of this situation. CHINA's ONE-CHILD POLICY. Wait, what does that have to do with this? Everything.  A number of families have been affected and are facing seasons of grieving and piecing their lives back together.  But the families of Chinese citizens, whose only child was lost in this disaster - these face more than mere grief. ...

There are many factors that harm what could otherwise be healthily functioning relationships.  But there are two that are especially toxic - two lies that, left unchecked, uncorrected, un-remediated, will  without a doubt wreak havoc on your relationships.  Think over them carefully and see if you have fallen prey to the trap of believing (and acting upon) these two lies: 1.  I cannot be happy/content unless others do/say/behave/operate according to a certain set of prescribed behaviours.  (These can be as varied as how the tube of toothpaste is flattened to whether my spouse/friend/child attends Church regularly). What does this look like in relationships?  Here's how it goes...   Scenario 1: Joe wakes up one morning.  Kind of groggy, sleepy and headachy.  He drags himself downstairs and puts on the coffee.  Only to find the filter wasn't changed and it was day-old grounds left in the machine.  The water then spills over the...

Valentine's Day is charged with emotion - hopes, fears, and sometimes just a wishing it would all go away and pass quickly.  The love we wish for isn't always there - whether we're married or single.  And the love we feel from those who genuinely love us isn't always enough, or thrilling or everything we were hoping for. Too much is chalked up to how I feel about these things. I used to hate Valentine's Day.  Thought it was so gushy, mushy, sentimental, sweet and so not real life. And then I got married, and wanted to make the most of it.  In fact, I thought in marriage it would be the best time to celebrate wedded love. Well, I won't say much on that, 'cuz we just happen to not be the sentimental sort - except for every other day of the year, when I am showered with love that is undeserved, unmerited and so beyond what I had every hoped for. But the bedrock of my life is not romantic love.  It is PERFECT LOVE. I base my existence on the fact th...

I have more to say on the Book of Job. Going back to his lame-o friends...  Yeah, they needed a good theology lesson.  And here I am centuries later to give it to them. I think they had issues.  Real issues.  They couldn't handle that God is sovereign and acts according to the counsel of His own will  - sans our input or even any obligation to give us an explanation for what He does. They got it wrong because God was behaving contrary to what their human wisdom/reasoning would expect.  They thought God was there to serve them  - that God's job was to act according to the plan.   That plan is: Play fair (according to my understanding of fairness).  Reward and punish within good reason (human reason, that is).  Be powerful, but beholden to my  will.  Those are the kinds of things we would expect God to do and be.  Because we are human we so badly mix up our desires for how we want God to act with our understanding of ...

So we've been reading Job (in the Bible) together as a family.  It's a challenging book - full of questions and musings... And the discussions have been interesting. It's so easy to see suffering, question it, and we SO BADLY want an answer.  We want to know why, what for, purpose, goals and such.  We want to engineer life so we can avoid suffering.  If we knew the theological neat and tidy little package as to all the why's of life, we could just dot every little i we're missing and go on our merry way knowing that God will surely cater to our sloppy theology and give us what we want so that we can praise ourselves knowing we did better than the next guy whose suffering we can't comprehend. Okay, maybe we're not ALL like that, just some of us. And the book of Job, and the description of his suffering is so our there... far from our reach, far from our understanding.  It blows us away with how bad his life was and how few answers there were for his pa...

So I was thinking lately about when Jesus says that it isn't what goes into a person's body that makes him unclean but the thoughts and words that come from within him/her. And I thought about integrity and honesty and secrecy... and I wondered... Here are some of my musings: You know, I can keep a tight rein on my lips - I can control not saying certain things that I think to people.  And when they frustrate me, I can keep it quiet.  I can look at them and judge them in my heart, but if I don't say it, maybe that's okay.  Oh, and if it really bothers me, I can probably tell a trusted friend - you know, in private, like in email or on the phone, or even in person.  I could share it as a 'burden' or a cause for prayer - like a prayer request.  Because I really don't know how to help this person I look down on.  And it can be a matter of privacy that I think these things.  I can be sweet and meek and nice and kind to those around me, all the while h...

In the interest of full disclosure, let me tell you that what you are about to read isn't my normal attitude.  But it is, for real, one I had today.  It is all well and good to write when I have nice things to say.  When my words will challenge, convict and inspire.  The words I wrote in frustration today I will put below so you can enjoy my full-blown honesty.  This may give you a glimpse into my 'not-so-rosy' days.  It may discourage you.  I don't know.  Take it or leave it. So I had arranged all the kids to be doing something that might keep them occupied (and it didn't work).  I decided I needed to catch up some on my reading through the Bible AGENDA.  Yeah, I put 'agenda' in CAPS because that's all it seems to be - some lofty goal and virtuous aspiration.  Bible reading can't hurt, I muse.  So why not?  Maybe this could help my soul.  Maybe I will change.  Maybe I will become more...inspiring?  Graci...