Bees in My Bonnet

I'd like to address this issue of maligning emotions - as if they are inherently bad.  "But you were emotional when you responded!"  Sounds like an accusation or something.  I wish we could get over this concept that emotions are wrong.  That we must float through life robotic-like - oh, no, not really - with plastic smiles plastered across our from-here-on-out robotic affect. I wrote a bit about this in a previous post (Two lies that burn holes in relationships), and received some feedback from an insightful relative.  I asked her permission to post her thoughts here as I thought they warranted a broader audience.  She says it better, and with more credibility than I could! Thank you so much for your helpful insights, and good observations about those two lie-beliefs regarding emotions! I've been fascinated with the topic of emotions and feelings for a LONG time. Here are just a few brief comments, on a few random observations that seem true to me,...

So last night there was this episode: We don't normally have drinks other than water.  But I decided to have a special juice mix and went to find a carton of peach nectar I had stashed in the fridge downstairs.  It had been there a month or so, unopened - chilling for the right moment.  And now it had come.  I open it.  *Gasp* It had been opened!  I smelled it.  Fermented.  Yuck. Scene 2:  I call a particular child who is known to take liberties.  Did you open it?  Yes.  How long ago?  A while ago.  Do you know it is now ruined?  Yes.  What are the rules about this sort of thing?  Why didn't you ask me first?  Why didn't you tell me? I expressed my honest frustration and exasperation at that moment.  I didn't, in fact, YELL.  I told him how disappointed I was that now it is wasted all on account of his failure to obey the rules.  I went on for a few minutes.  He slumped a...

I hear the term 'situational ethics' thrown around with scoffing tones.  And I'm sure there's good reason for this.  But I'd like to highlight something that is far more common, more subtle and more agreeable to our collective palates.  Situational Contentment.  That contentment, shalom, peaceful calm, serenity, blissful reverie that finds it's joy in the situation at hand.  I don't want to knock it - no, we can rightly enjoy the stuff of life - money, houses, land, nice weather, vacations, health, well-being, relational harmony - because they simply ARE enjoyable.  The problem comes when we can only  be content if these things are all fine and dandy.  When we can define each area of our lives with glowing, gushing, delightful phrases that make people wonder if we live the realm of normal. Today I read Psalm 16.  Let's go through it together, shall we?  (It's the cure for the common contentment disorder.  Otherwise known as CCD, ...

The news story of the missing Malaysian Airlines plane has had our family transfixed.  We have no personal knowledge of anyone on that plane.  Perhaps it is the magnitude of the grief and tragedy that these families have faced over the past 18 days.  Perhaps it is because both Sam and I have extended family that frequently travel similar routes - my parents even more often.  But after thinking about it and watching the daily headlines and wondering what good can come of this, and entering - albeit from a huge distance - into empathetic grief along with the families affected, I came up with what I feel is the worst aspect of this situation. CHINA's ONE-CHILD POLICY. Wait, what does that have to do with this? Everything.  A number of families have been affected and are facing seasons of grieving and piecing their lives back together.  But the families of Chinese citizens, whose only child was lost in this disaster - these face more than mere grief. ...

There are many factors that harm what could otherwise be healthily functioning relationships.  But there are two that are especially toxic - two lies that, left unchecked, uncorrected, un-remediated, will  without a doubt wreak havoc on your relationships.  Think over them carefully and see if you have fallen prey to the trap of believing (and acting upon) these two lies: 1.  I cannot be happy/content unless others do/say/behave/operate according to a certain set of prescribed behaviours.  (These can be as varied as how the tube of toothpaste is flattened to whether my spouse/friend/child attends Church regularly). What does this look like in relationships?  Here's how it goes...   Scenario 1: Joe wakes up one morning.  Kind of groggy, sleepy and headachy.  He drags himself downstairs and puts on the coffee.  Only to find the filter wasn't changed and it was day-old grounds left in the machine.  The water then spills over the...

Valentine's Day is charged with emotion - hopes, fears, and sometimes just a wishing it would all go away and pass quickly.  The love we wish for isn't always there - whether we're married or single.  And the love we feel from those who genuinely love us isn't always enough, or thrilling or everything we were hoping for. Too much is chalked up to how I feel about these things. I used to hate Valentine's Day.  Thought it was so gushy, mushy, sentimental, sweet and so not real life. And then I got married, and wanted to make the most of it.  In fact, I thought in marriage it would be the best time to celebrate wedded love. Well, I won't say much on that, 'cuz we just happen to not be the sentimental sort - except for every other day of the year, when I am showered with love that is undeserved, unmerited and so beyond what I had every hoped for. But the bedrock of my life is not romantic love.  It is PERFECT LOVE. I base my existence on the fact th...

I have more to say on the Book of Job. Going back to his lame-o friends...  Yeah, they needed a good theology lesson.  And here I am centuries later to give it to them. I think they had issues.  Real issues.  They couldn't handle that God is sovereign and acts according to the counsel of His own will  - sans our input or even any obligation to give us an explanation for what He does. They got it wrong because God was behaving contrary to what their human wisdom/reasoning would expect.  They thought God was there to serve them  - that God's job was to act according to the plan.   That plan is: Play fair (according to my understanding of fairness).  Reward and punish within good reason (human reason, that is).  Be powerful, but beholden to my  will.  Those are the kinds of things we would expect God to do and be.  Because we are human we so badly mix up our desires for how we want God to act with our understanding of ...