What if God asks us to be content?

 I grew up with what I call 'missionary spirit'. Basically it goes something like this: the world is lost and dying in their sins. I know the Gospel. I should go tell them. Then they won't be lost, and I can feel like a hero.

Or something like that.

If I heard it once, I heard it a thousand times: the message of surrender.

What if God calls me to a hard place? Yes, I'll go.

What if God gives me suffering to bring about His glory? Yes, I'll receive it.

What if God asks me to give up something I treasure to honour Him? Yes, I'll give it up.

These are messages of surrender. And yes, these are messages taken straight out of the Bible. Jonah was told to go and didn't want to. Don't be like Jonah. Job was asked to suffer, and He honoured God in it, but it was a struggle. Abraham was called to leave his home and go somewhere God would show him along the way. Moses was called to leave his palace and intervene for God's people. Moses' mother was called to give up her child to the basket in the river and trust God with the outcome. The early church was called to give up their wealth to support each other and persecuted Christians. Most of the disciples were called to surrender their physical safety and lives for the sake of the Gospel.

These are messages of surrender. We can certainly learn a lot from them - and they are told and preached with fervour to induce a kind of hyper-dedication on the part of the hearer. If we hold that God's Word to us is found in the Bible (which I do happen to believe), then these are, of course, worthy messages that we ought to pay heed to.

That said, there is always a temptation within Christendom to lay hold of particular teaching and fixate on it to the degree that it can become overemphasized, imbalanced or skewed in proportion to the entire text of holy writ. The message of surrender, in some circles, is one of these topics. It is a wonderful teaching, and we do need to take it to heart. But it hasn't been explored widely enough, or we haven't gone deep enough to wrestle with it when we leave it at: 'If God sends me to Timbuktoo, I'll go.'

Having the missionary spirit in me, I thought that's what it meant to surrender myself to God: to be willing to go and endure things and be radical in lifestyle choices (and we are, kinda, I've got to admit). 

But let me tell you something: that is only the tip of the iceberg. 

I thought I would probably be a missionary someday. And maybe I am in some sense: I do live life with a sense of mission, even if that is constantly being reworked.

The problem with the missionary spirit is it is often focused on looking at others and their needs and thinking of how I can serve them (which is not bad, and I applaud it). It is often focused on my own nobility and goodwill to give of myself in such ways. It is often self-centred in a weirdly other-centred appearance. For some people, the need to be needed is so great that expending oneself in the service of others is a small price to pay for the filling of that need. In case no-one has spelled this out yet, Missionaries are not the equivalent of Protestant saints. They do wonderful things and have noble intent, likely, in most cases. But there is a great struggle for all Christians: the call to surrender in the hidden places - the places that are ignoble, unseen and un-applauded.

If I say to God: 'I'll do anything you ask of me!!' And He says, 'I want you to learn to be content.' I may just freeze in my tracks.

If I say to God: 'I'll do anything you ask of me!!' And He says, 'Clean up this potty mess you've encountered that is a miserable task, but of service to Me.' I may need to learn a thing or two about humility and service.

If I say to God: 'I'll do anything you ask of me!!' And He says, 'Go to therapy so you will be less in danger of harming your children through your uncontrolled temper.' I may just say, 'Really?! That's what You're asking me to do?'

If I say to God: 'I'll do anything you ask of me!!' And He says, 'Recognize then the truth of Psalm 24:1 - that you are mine, and I'm asking you to view yourself this way. Here's a way you can realize this: open your home to strangers, invite them in, welcome them and tend to them.' And if I'm exhausted? 'Trust me to provide all you need.' I may just be called out on my bluff!

If I say to God: 'I'll do anything you ask of me!!' And He says, 'I want you to rest. Cancel all your plans and sit with me for a day, week or year.' Would I do it?! Would I be that surrendered?

If I say to God: 'I'll do anything you ask of me!!' And he says, 'Live more simply. Give your money away. Cling to me more than to stuff, including plans, ambitions, even your goals.' I may just say, 'Send me to Timbuktoo instead - this is too hard.'

If I say to God: 'I'll do anything you ask of me!!' And He says, 'Start seeing me in places you've been afraid of: marginalized peoples, for one.' I may just say, 'But that doesn't fit my politics or view of how you want the world to be!!' And He might just say, 'I don't care what your views are: love people as if they were me.' And I might just find myself perplexed.

If I say to God: 'I'll do anything you ask of me!!' And He says, 'Love me more than anything else.' I may just begin to understand what the message of surrender really is. 'Love me in the people you see.' 'Love me in the hurting world you hear about.' 'Love me more than your own comfort, and find in me the greatest comfort of all.' 

These are my imaginary conversations with God. 

I don't want to put words in God's mouth: on the contrary; I want to take God's words and put them in my mouth. God tells me through the apostle Paul: 'I have learned to be content in any and every circumstance.' God tells me through Abraham's story: 'I am your very great reward.' God tells me through the dialogue of Jesus with Peter: 'Feed my sheep.' God tells me through the psalmist: 'Blessed are those who delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night.' So many of God's words to me tell me what it might look like to surrender. I take those words and apply them to my conversations with God. 

So, what if God asks me to be content? Will I take up that journey as part of my missionary spirit? It may actually be a huge part in saving the world. 

What if God asks me to trust Him when everything seems fearful, dreadful, frightful, disorienting and upsetting? Will I take up the journey of trust in the here and now, not relegating that journey to those who are called to be in far-off-scary places? The journey of trust is essential for every child of God. It is at the heart of surrender.

What if God asks me to speak boldly about something when it might be uncomfortable for me? I might say, 'Lord, I'll go preach the gospel to the lost, but please don't ask me to have a difficult conversation with someone I know!'

What if God asks me to do inner work, rather than spinning my wheels on outward tasks? 

The world certainly needs the service and practical helps we can give or bring about. But I believe very often, the busyness we are occupied with is done prematurely: the inner life with God has been un-tended and unexplored.

What is it God might be asking of you? Are you willing, even if it is simply mopping a floor, praying with someone, making space in your life, going to therapy, having a difficult conversation, or simply being content in difficult circumstances?