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Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Worry: An Expression of Doubt

Sometimes I worry.
Sometimes I fear.
Sometimes I fix my eyes on what is seen rather than what is unseen.

 Some people say,
"I worry all the time...if it's not my kids, it's my spouse,
 if it's not my spouse, it's the house,
 if it's not the house, it's my job,
if it's not my job it's my health,
 if it's not my health, it's the government,
if it's not the government it's chemicals in our food..."

You get the picture.

Recently we've been hit with expenses - some expected, some not.  A new transmission in the car.  A new well pump and all that goes with it.  School fees - even though we get super great financial aid.  Sam and Caleb's mission trip expenses (they head to the Philippines next week).
We know we will face more in the near future - and seek to plan as best we can for both expected and unexpected expenses.

Aside from expenses, we have time management.  Priscilla was saying, 'How am I going to get everything done?  With Latin, piano, schoolwork, will I have any time for anything else?'  I told her I don't have enough time to change Hannah's diaper, discipline Andrew, make the meals, do the laundry and keep my sanity.  Somehow what needs doing gets done.  I don't know how.  But God enables even in my failure to carefully plan and organize...

Then I thought about worry.  At the root of worry is doubt.

I doubt God will be good to me.  I doubt His ability to provide for ALL I need.

Worry doubts God.  Worry opens our eyes to the immediate, pressing need, and shuts our eyes to the Eternal Grace of God.  Worry says, 'I don't trust You.  I am afraid You don't have my best interest in mind when You allow me to face these things.  I'm not sure You are good.  I'm not sure You will listen to my prayer.  I cannot be still and 'fear not'.  I can only go, go, go - in a million directions with my mind following every dreaded path...'

Worry reveals our heart and ultimately our theology, whether good or poor.

What do I worry about?
What does my worry say about what I believe - about God, myself, trials, life, responsibility and control?
Do I believe I control everything?  Do I believe God does?

The answer to these questions reveals the roots of doubt in most cases.

What do you doubt?
What do you fear?
What does your worry say about you?