Bees in My Bonnet

Recently I've been thinking through our journey as parents - thus far.  We're still early in the game - our oldest is only 14.  And as I reflect on these 14 years, I realize we have made many mistakes, one of which I want to share with you all so you don't make them too.  The mistake is this:  Modelling our parenting after those whose kids were not yet grown and who we admired for their exterior superiorness in behaviour and respect. You see, we looked around us and picked out people with model children - those kids who smiled sweetly, were well-mannered, polite and obedient.  Emphasis on obedient .  These others were ahead a few years than we were, so of course their model - to produce such greatly performing kids - must be the way to go. Please don't do this. People look at us now and might be in our same shoes 14 years ago - our kids can look so wonderful to those who don't live here with us!  (Of course, they are  wonderful, don't get m...

I've done many searches online to find the rules I want to enforce in my home and teach my kids.  But then I end up with multiple print-outs and have to cut and paste the things I like.  So here's my own compilation for your use if you like. 1.  Don't hold your fork or spoon like a shovel.  I say this repeatedly - probably twice a week - in our home.  Thankfully, my kids are pretty good at it now.  Here is why it bugs me:    - It makes you look like you're starving and need huge volumes of food to enter your mouth NOW.    - It makes you look impatient.    - It forces you to raise a 'wing' (which will appear later in my list).    - It may be appropriate in other cultures/contexts (think youth group binges of some sort), but not in Western dining situations    - It typically raises your hand/arm to above your lower lip (another no-no). Here is my description of holding a spoon like a shovel:  Th...