Bees in My Bonnet

I'm not going to address the fact that there are those who deny the existence of a psychological condition called 'Attention Deficit' (I left off 'Disorder' on purpose).  If you need evidence just videotape my life for a while and then make your decision! Regardless of where you stand, I have become quite familiar with this territory and figure it might be helpful for others to glean from my experience.  Here are 12 tips for Moms with A.D.D.   If you need help understanding your child with A.D.D. I'd be happy to answer your questions from my own experience and memory of being a child with A.D.D.  Yes, putting two-and-two together - that means you don't grow out of it or recover - it is a lifelong personality style.   Everyone has some hiccups in their personality - things that don't fit with the majority culture - nuances that might make life difficult for us or others.  A.D.D. just happens to be one of those types of things.  Learning our struggles...

It's been a stressful week for me. Let me just say to all single parents out there: I take my hat off to you - in the most powerful, non-literal sense I can muster.  It is such a challenge to parent single-handed.  To think there are parents out there who do this all the time  is mind-boggling to me.  You have my utmost respect. Sam and Caleb are on a trip to the Philippines with a team from our Church.  And I encouraged this. What was I thinking?!?! Well, I was thinking it would be good for Caleb.  It would be good for our family.  It would be good all 'round.  And it is.  In ways I never imagined. It is good for me to experience these almost two weeks without the help of dear husband. It is good for me to see what I take for granted. It is good for Sam and Caleb to experience and serve in a far-off place. It is good for my children to grow in grace with me. It is good for me to see my shortcomings even more than I already...

I am realizing, 5 kids into this parenting thing, that expectations can be the bane of my existence.  They can lead to frustration, guilt, anger, aggravation and a break-down in the peace of my home.  Mostly I am talking about expectations for myself, my days, my time, my activities, my atmosphere.  Do you get it?  These all have to do with ME.  I also have expectations for my kids - some very good ones.  Like, I expect my children to obey me.  To not lie to me.  To respect me.  To not be too messy (there is a broad range here).  I expect them to be responsible.  So, sometimes I expect a lot of me and a lot of my kids.  Expectations - both good and bad, can be the ruin of my day.  And lately I've taken to saying to myself, 'You just can't ruin my day!'  A quote from someone I never met - but a good one nonetheless.  (Paul Westlund). For example:  I expect I will have time to pick up the house, clean the k...

I really have a bee in my bonnet this time. I invite your comments and input here - please, share freely your opinions and insights! We started off as parents agreed that discipline in the home should be orderly, un-emotive, controlled, calm, and firm. We read books such as 'Shepherding a Child's heart' and 'To Train up a Child' among many others. We interviewed other parents whose kids we liked. We talked to kids raised in homes we respected. Many of our conclusions led to a non-emotional approach to discipline. We felt that discipline should always be divorced from expressed anger from the parent. Somewhere along the way I lost my convictions on this matter. I began to believe it was important for my kids to understand that anger isn't wrong, that disobedience invokes anger, that anger can be healthily displayed and controlled, that God can be angry at times - while still not treating us as our sins deserve - and on and on... At the same time...