Bees in My Bonnet

In case anyone is in doubt, I'll just put this out there: I need a LOT of help. I am not type A or even type B. By the time you get to X, Y or Z...I'm in there somewhere. I've always been scatter-brained - I still have some of my report cards which repeatedly pointed out my daydreaming habits. So, I'm sure you will be surprised to find out that I struggle with a thing called Chronic Disorganization. Combine that with a thing called A.D.D., (I like to think of that as Alternately Designed Diva), and a few other acronyms and labels that are especially helpful in addressing my various issues, and you get ME. That is my preface to the rest of what I'm about to put here. I'm posting this partly because it is so entertaining...but also because I am exceedingly grateful for the delightful person who wrote the response - who helped me out in my distress some time ago. Not only did she help me address a potentially riddled-with-relational-mines interaction, with hilar...

So I was thinking lately about when Jesus says that it isn't what goes into a person's body that makes him unclean but the thoughts and words that come from within him/her. And I thought about integrity and honesty and secrecy... and I wondered... Here are some of my musings: You know, I can keep a tight rein on my lips - I can control not saying certain things that I think to people.  And when they frustrate me, I can keep it quiet.  I can look at them and judge them in my heart, but if I don't say it, maybe that's okay.  Oh, and if it really bothers me, I can probably tell a trusted friend - you know, in private, like in email or on the phone, or even in person.  I could share it as a 'burden' or a cause for prayer - like a prayer request.  Because I really don't know how to help this person I look down on.  And it can be a matter of privacy that I think these things.  I can be sweet and meek and nice and kind to those around me, all the while h...

Got a bee in my bonnet... Gonna let it fly. Snooty graceless people run around putting others under their particular microscope.  It is not a microscope of virtue or righteousness according to actual moral standards.  Oh no.  It is the microscope of 'my own personal standards'.  Generally this applies to external things like: appearance housekeeping parenting diet and exercise habits (or lack thereof) financial choices (add your own here) They are the most miserable, unhappy people.  They purse their lips and sigh and think to themselves, "If only they would do what I would do, life would be so much better for them."  They pat themselves on the back and think of themselves as more righteous, holy, with-it, together...  They sadly look at others and think, "If only..." they could be as happy as I am... Sour, judgemental as I am. Snooty graceless people burden others with their opinion (value-less might I add) of them.  They think it ac...

I was pondering lateness recently - since someone used the term 'unfashionably late'.  I ended up with a thought conversation with myself, which I am apt to have going on in my head at any given time.  Here is what it looked like: Hmmm... UNfashionably late implies there is fashionable lateness.  Well, I guess I qualify for both categories since I'm usually late to things.  Oh well. What do you mean 'oh well,'?!  Many people consider lateness to be rude, selfish, thoughtless, and disrespectful. Well, they're just on the Western end of the cultural spectrum.  I just happen to be at the other end. Hey, don't excuse yourself so easily!  Cultural or not cultural, do you want people judging you by your lateness? No, I don't.  But it's their problem for being so snooty - and might I add, just a wee bit self-centered too since they imply the late person is so selfish for making them wait?  Because no time is wasted if you have an engaging...

Oh Lord, I thank You for the redemption I now have which, though a gift from You, came by my choosing.  I am so glad I was able to see the light and have chosen well. Others aren't as blessed as I am.  I thank You that I can live at peace knowing I have crossed every 't' and dotted every 'i' in the realm of spiritual living. Thank you for my freedom which I use so wisely and that I don't live as a slave to my job or to money or to my hobbies but that I give myself to much worthier pursuits...unlike SO many others. Thank you for helping me to see the better way and please help me to instruct others accordingly, because I know they will be so blessed by my superior knowledge. For these things I thank you, Amen... Do I need to comment on the above?  I hope not.  I hope it is apparent what I mean by putting this out there.  Don't our prayers smack of this sentiment sometimes?  Instead, let our prayers reflect the sentiment of the tax-collector w...

Last night Caleb was whining about Timo not pulling his window shade down. Nothing unusual - the normal sorts of bickering, arguing and annoyances of sharing a room with your little brother. He was rather pouty and I told him to point his finger at Timo and tell me the thing he did wrong. He did - pointed his finger and said he didn't listen and do what Caleb had asked. I said, 'Okay, now tell me how many fingers are pointing at you.' He said, 'None.' I said, 'No, look carefully.' He looked. 'None,' he said. So I pointed to the three fingers curled up underneath the one he was pointing at Timo. I then said, 'Please tell me three things you are doing wrong.' I showed him how the three fingers were pointing back at himself. And that whenever you are about to criticize and find fault with others, just be sure to name at least three of your own for every one you spot in someone else. "Be completely humble and gentle." I sai...

I have a secret. I'm going to get it out in the open here and now and just be done with it. Here it is: I am FAR worse a person than you think I am. I am not saying this to be self-denigrating. I am not eliciting sympathy, flattery or anything of the sort. I am merely putting this out there so we'll all be on the same page. Even if you are one of my critics, this statement is still true. If you think I'm self-absorbed, you're right, but probably I'm more than that - narcissistic even. If you think I waste time, you're right, but more than you know. What I'm saying is, no matter what light you view me in (and I know, for most of you, it's positive), you are probably far too generous is your estimations. Granted, I'm more than a little nutty - extremely bizarre and unique might qualify. But I'm not referring here to my idiosyncrasies, of which I have more than a few. I am referring to all my own worst qualities, and even the good ones whi...

I am fed up with spiritual platitudes and nice-isms. They don’t work for me. Instead they communicate judgement and rejection. “Take your frustrations to God.” Are you saying I don’t already do this? “Where is your joy?” Are you saying that simply because you detect frustration that there is a lack of joy in me? Seeing through these phrases, all I can see is judgement. Don’t deny it and dress it up in any other language. This is exactly what comes through. By saying these things it creates an atmosphere of insincerity. These comments send the message: don’t be honest and open with me. Wear a pretty smile and all will be well. Keep your frustrations between you and God. Don’t share them with me. Don’t be real with me. Instead, just be like ______________(insert story of missionary who didn't get frustrated when all went against him) – bumble along with thoughts of ‘all will be well’. That’s fine for him, but God (I am sure of this) makes room fo...

"Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes." Verses from 1 Corinthians 4 I recently read these verses and am astonished that in my 30 some odd years of reading capability I have missed these precious truths! Oh how much grief I would have been spared had I known that Paul a) didn’t judge himself b) had a clear conscience, but still knew the Lord would judge and c) instructs us to wait until the Lord’s return to do any judging. I posted this as my status for today on facebook and someone asked me what it means to me. Of course the question ‘What does it mean to me?’ can lead to wrong conclusions because Scripture has a meaning, the author intended to say something ...

I once thought a fitting title for a review of the relational struggles of my life could be: Judged. I limit it to relational stuff because it wouldn't be a fitting title for my whole life since so much else has happened that takes center stage. But when I think of how I've lived with and around others 'Judged' is probably the first word that comes to mind. A couple years ago I heard a sermon on not judging others. It was a very good message - and helpful, challenging, convicting as sermons tend to be. At the same time it left me very frustrated. I felt like I was the proverbial 'choir' being preached to. I wanted to stand up in the middle and say, 'Yes, I know all that - about not judging others - but what do you do about those who chronically judge you?' Of course I had barely enough self-control to not do that. (I wonder what church would look like if we could raise our hand and ask a question in the middle of a sermon? Wouldn't it be fun?! It...