Bees in My Bonnet

I am realizing, 5 kids into this parenting thing, that expectations can be the bane of my existence.  They can lead to frustration, guilt, anger, aggravation and a break-down in the peace of my home.  Mostly I am talking about expectations for myself, my days, my time, my activities, my atmosphere.  Do you get it?  These all have to do with ME.  I also have expectations for my kids - some very good ones.  Like, I expect my children to obey me.  To not lie to me.  To respect me.  To not be too messy (there is a broad range here).  I expect them to be responsible.  So, sometimes I expect a lot of me and a lot of my kids.  Expectations - both good and bad, can be the ruin of my day.  And lately I've taken to saying to myself, 'You just can't ruin my day!'  A quote from someone I never met - but a good one nonetheless.  (Paul Westlund). For example:  I expect I will have time to pick up the house, clean the k...

So in order to maximize my efficiency as a housewife and Mom we have discovered some special internet controls (something called Chrome Nanny).  Initially we decided to use it because the kids were beginning to have fights over using the computer and doing time-wasting things on it.  We were tired of the fights, tired of the division in our family.  And I've bene reading a book (Almost Amish) and have been sensing a bit of conviction over my distractability with the computer.  So we decided to set up the chromenanny to help structure the use of the computer for all of us.  Since I'm techno-challenged I can't even begin to think how I would break through it and change the rules.  So it is a great help for me - ever distracted and called away from my primary tasks.  This week has been the start of homeschooling, but also the start of my internet detox.  Wanna know how it's going?  Here's an email I wrote to Sam this week while he was at work (...

Here I am one week into doing homeschool with 9 y/o Priscilla.  We are working on grade 4 and easing our way into all the subject matter and curriculum.  I have been a bit insecure about the whole homeschool thing - always wondering if I'll get her educated enough to be proficient and to excel in not only core subjects of academia but also in the fringe benefit subjects.  Because of my self-doubts I am all  the more aware that this too, as in all things in life, is a journey  of faith.  I will need to see and know my inadequacies and rely  heavily on God for wisdom - and also rely on any and all resources  available to me to support this endeavour.  Because my goal in all  this is really NOT to be a 'do it yourself' educator.  Or to stand  independently and say, 'I don't need a village to raise/educate my  kid!'  (I'd argue that perhaps a village isn't *necessary* to  raise/educate her, but is a great benefit to...