Invoice for Kids
I had a rough morning...Hannah's one and only school dress was no-where to be found. I had stayed up late doing extra laundry in case it was in there, and couldn't find it. I didn't want to dig around in the room where they were sleeping so it needed to wait until this morning (yes, you can point out I should have thought of this before they were in bed, but I was focussed on getting them to bed! Of course you could point out that I could have thought of this before the bedtime routine! But I was trying to get supper on! And you could point out I could have thought of this before supper prep, but...okay, you win).
So this morning I look high and low. I search everywhere. I look under her bed three times! I look under everything! Couches, beds, hidden corners, dressers, cubbies, nooks - you name it, I looked. I prayed - out loud, "Lord, please help us find Hannah's dress!" I hear the thoughts in my head (could it be divine whispers?), "Pray and post a guard - keep looking." "Okay, I get it," I reply to myself, or God, or whoever. As I'm looking for the 3rd time I spot a tiny speck of uniform material, bunched up as a pillow for a dolly who is meticulously laid out under Hannah's bed, perfectly tucked in for the night, or eternity. Aaargh. The uniform dress had become a dolly pillow. "Thank you, Lord!" I respond - "C'mon kids, we gotta go, we're already late!"
But then the Electric company had their truck near our driveway, and a man was knocking on Grandma's door. Grandma, ever confused, comes out to respond - but thankfully I'm there at that moment to deal with the electric guy. The wires are dangling too low on our property...blah blah, etc. One more delay. Not his fault. Probably mine, 'cuz if we got out sooner we might have missed him, but then Grandma would have been so befuddled to try to figure out what he wanted. So, maybe we were late for a good reason.
On our way to school, a particular kid of mine asks me, "Did you bring my school bag?" This, while holding the action figure in the air and making swooshing noises. "Uh, no." I say. "Do you know that going to school usually requires a back pack? Is it my job to run around finding your things and kindly bringing them to the car for you? No." And the ensuing argument about where things are put - even though a particular cubby shelf/bench was built for this purpose (by an awesome, handy, skilled, helpful Daddy, I might add). You get the picture. It was that kind of morning. Annoying thing is though, these seem to be very frequent mornings for me.
Normally I'd be super stressed and let that fall out on the kids. But I wasn't too much (or as much as usual). I realized recently that enough is enough. My stress level is not going to help anything. If we're late, we're late. We shouldn't be. We should plan better, work towards change and all that. But ultimately, in that moment of stressed-out-ness, frustration, anger, 'AAAAaaargh' and berating/shaming them is really not going to end well. It will just mean more stress all 'round. Somehow venting stress seems to multiply it.
Instead, the office listened to me rant (thank you, school office), chuckled at the drama of the day, and offered me coffee.
And I came home. And I wondered what to do, other than locate a belt, backpack, and prepare 5 lunches (my lunch prep time was used up searching the house for a particular school dress). And I had an aha moment. We will wait to see how this plays out - and I invite your input if you think I'm being a mean mommy.
You see, I came to the kitchen to prepare lunches that I will shortly deliver (I have to pick up a kid anyway, so not an extra trip). In the kitchen I found ONE prepared lunch bag/box. ONE out of five. Mind you, I wouldn't expect much from my 6 or even 8 year old in this regard - they're a bit newer to it. I have made it known that by them a) not returning a lunch bag/box or b) not emptying it, c) not washing/drying the box, they create extra work for me and slow down the whole process. Yes, I can do all that, but I am serving them anyways - and I ask for very little from them (we are not super good at requiring chores etc, but they are often very helpful in the moment). So the one tiny little thing I have asked is that they made an empty, clean, ready-to-be-filled lunchbox appear on my counter the evening before, so that I can fill them.
So, here is what 4 of my kids will discover in their lunchboxes today: An invoice:
So this morning I look high and low. I search everywhere. I look under her bed three times! I look under everything! Couches, beds, hidden corners, dressers, cubbies, nooks - you name it, I looked. I prayed - out loud, "Lord, please help us find Hannah's dress!" I hear the thoughts in my head (could it be divine whispers?), "Pray and post a guard - keep looking." "Okay, I get it," I reply to myself, or God, or whoever. As I'm looking for the 3rd time I spot a tiny speck of uniform material, bunched up as a pillow for a dolly who is meticulously laid out under Hannah's bed, perfectly tucked in for the night, or eternity. Aaargh. The uniform dress had become a dolly pillow. "Thank you, Lord!" I respond - "C'mon kids, we gotta go, we're already late!"
But then the Electric company had their truck near our driveway, and a man was knocking on Grandma's door. Grandma, ever confused, comes out to respond - but thankfully I'm there at that moment to deal with the electric guy. The wires are dangling too low on our property...blah blah, etc. One more delay. Not his fault. Probably mine, 'cuz if we got out sooner we might have missed him, but then Grandma would have been so befuddled to try to figure out what he wanted. So, maybe we were late for a good reason.
On our way to school, a particular kid of mine asks me, "Did you bring my school bag?" This, while holding the action figure in the air and making swooshing noises. "Uh, no." I say. "Do you know that going to school usually requires a back pack? Is it my job to run around finding your things and kindly bringing them to the car for you? No." And the ensuing argument about where things are put - even though a particular cubby shelf/bench was built for this purpose (by an awesome, handy, skilled, helpful Daddy, I might add). You get the picture. It was that kind of morning. Annoying thing is though, these seem to be very frequent mornings for me.
Normally I'd be super stressed and let that fall out on the kids. But I wasn't too much (or as much as usual). I realized recently that enough is enough. My stress level is not going to help anything. If we're late, we're late. We shouldn't be. We should plan better, work towards change and all that. But ultimately, in that moment of stressed-out-ness, frustration, anger, 'AAAAaaargh' and berating/shaming them is really not going to end well. It will just mean more stress all 'round. Somehow venting stress seems to multiply it.
Instead, the office listened to me rant (thank you, school office), chuckled at the drama of the day, and offered me coffee.
And I came home. And I wondered what to do, other than locate a belt, backpack, and prepare 5 lunches (my lunch prep time was used up searching the house for a particular school dress). And I had an aha moment. We will wait to see how this plays out - and I invite your input if you think I'm being a mean mommy.
You see, I came to the kitchen to prepare lunches that I will shortly deliver (I have to pick up a kid anyway, so not an extra trip). In the kitchen I found ONE prepared lunch bag/box. ONE out of five. Mind you, I wouldn't expect much from my 6 or even 8 year old in this regard - they're a bit newer to it. I have made it known that by them a) not returning a lunch bag/box or b) not emptying it, c) not washing/drying the box, they create extra work for me and slow down the whole process. Yes, I can do all that, but I am serving them anyways - and I ask for very little from them (we are not super good at requiring chores etc, but they are often very helpful in the moment). So the one tiny little thing I have asked is that they made an empty, clean, ready-to-be-filled lunchbox appear on my counter the evening before, so that I can fill them.
So, here is what 4 of my kids will discover in their lunchboxes today: An invoice:
Dear Logan Child of Mine,
For the Service of:
o Locating
your item (lunchbox, belt, uniform item, backpack, or other thing)
o Emptying
your lunch bag
o Washing
your lunchbox
o Drying
your lunchbox
o Delivering
your item (forgotten necessary item: like a schoolbag, lunch or gym shoes)
o Other:
_______________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
You owe me
any of the following (one for each service rendered above):
o
$1 (an additional $1 for each service
rendered) Amount owed:$_____
o
Sweep the dining room
o
Mop the kitchen
o
Scrub the bathtub shiny clean
o
Tidy and clean our small bathroom counter/sink
o
Dust/spray/wipe baseboards of dining room,
kitchen and bathroom
o
Memorize any of the following verses, to be
verified by quoting them to me: Hebrews 12:1-2
o
Hebrews 12:14-15
o
1 Peter 1:3-4
o
1 Peter 2:9-10
o
1 Peter 2:21-23
o
2 Peter 1:3
o
John 15:9-11
o
John 15:16
o
Romans 2:1-2
o
Romans 2:3-4
o
Romans 6:1-2
o
Romans 6:3-4
o
Romans 8:9-10
(You may also opt
to not memorize but to copy – handwritten - any of the above 3 times and hand
it to me).
Consider this your invoice (a bill to be payed). Upon completion I can issue you a receipt for
your purchase.
In other words, you have hired me to serve you in this
way, so pay up.
Sincerely,
Your loving Mother,
who so often mercifully overlooks your failings, and
graciously lavishes you with undeserved goodness (and expects no less of you in
how you treat me and each other). Have a
great day!
P.S. Please take note: this is not a
punishment! You are being asked to
contribute to managing your own needs.
If you require my services, please respectfully acknowledge this by
fulfilling your obligation above. I
serve you in many ways for free: packing lunches, washing clothes, transporting
you places. You are being invited to do
your part.
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