Why We Don't Need to Fear a Messy Spirituality
I have a bit of a different take, however. And since it's a bit of a bee in my bonnet, I'm gonna let this one fly.
First reason we don't need to fear a messy spirituality is because 'Perfect Love Casts Out Fear.'
Second, because we who are found in Christ, are secured in and by Him - therefore, messy spirituality is nothing to fear. In fact, I'd say it's something to embrace.
And beyond that, I'd say, it's something that we all have and are and it is those who pretend they don't who probably need a whole lot of soul-searching. Think your spirituality isn't messy? Have you looked inside yourself recently?!?! Maybe that's a good place to start.
Thirdly: messy spirituality is REAL spirituality. It is honest. David was known as a man after God's own heart. I'd say his spirituality was quite messy:
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise. (Psalm 51)
I'd say there's more danger in resisting messy spirituality than there is in trying to cultivate what is known as 'victorious Christian living.' I never did well with that. I never have come around to a place of 'victorious Christian living.' I'll take Christ living in me as my starting point and go from there. I don't live my life - Christ lives His life in and through me: I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live - the life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God Who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Paul said that; I didn't).
We have numerous examples in Scripture and Church history that show us what comes of messy spirituality: a rich and deep engagement with God who meets us in our brokenness. He shines in our weakness, is glorified in our suffering, holds us up when we are fallen - He administers healing balm to our sin-sick souls. His wounds heal us. If anyone knew about the messiness of sin and chaos, Jesus did, who became sin for us. If anyone knew about brokenness, Jesus did because He was broken for us.
The path of righteousness isn't clean-cut. It may be murky, difficult, strewn with sorrows and troubles. We are encouraged that we are more than conquerors, and there are passages that trumpet the call to victory. But so many of these are laced with the terms 'in Him' and 'through Him'.
The essence of it all, then, is to be in Christ. Abide in Him. In your messy, broken, gut-wrenching sorrow. In your chaotic, can't-get-it-together, daily grind. In your hopeful and hopeless fear and worry. In every minute, in every joy, in every grief: He walks in and with those whose lives are characterized by a messy spirituality, and calls out to us to fall on His mercy and depend on His strength to supply what we can't muster.
In this is the gospel: Christ does what we can't do.
And there is no salvation outside of our sense of 'can't-do-it-ness'.
People who find themselves uncomfortable with messy spirituality might do a little soul-searching. Where does the discomfort come from? Is there a spiritual pride beneath it? Is there judgement of others behind it? Is there a discomfort with the disarming and abundant grace of God?
By and large, I imagine the root of these thoughts has more to tell us of the one who thinks them than those whose lives may appear to be messy.
I'm trying to be gentle, but perhaps my words have friction to them, for which I apologize.
By and large, I imagine the root of these thoughts has more to tell us of the one who thinks them than those whose lives may appear to be messy.
I'm trying to be gentle, but perhaps my words have friction to them, for which I apologize.
Messy spirituality to me means that sometimes I may falter like when Peter starts to sink, or when Peter disbelieves Jesus, or when I lose my temper and lack self-control. It might mean when I think of God in a way he truly isn't, when I miss the grace of God ('see to it that no one misses the grace of God!). It might mean I haven't dotted every i or crossed every t theologically. It might mean I don't follow prescribed practices like 'daily devotions' formally...it can mean a lot of things. It doesn't mean a license to sin.
I've known many who appear to live in a circumspect, victorious, devoted Christian life, (the public view), but whose lives are rife with pharisaical, self-righteous, haughty, judgment - and who are deeply troubled by reading verses like, 'where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom' (and can't help but to insert their own rendering: 'oh, but it means freedom to obey.' - yes, I did sit with someone who did that).
I have mega-legalism-radar, so forgive me if I'm going overboard.
It's not that my spirituality is messy...it's that I am. A hot mess:.that is me. I resist the 'Victorious Christian living' mantra and model because it is Christ who overcomes and who is the victor. He embraces the messy me and in his grace I find freedom to flourish and grow. It is for freedom that Christ has set me free, so why would I burden myself again with a yoke of slavery? The victorious Christian message often seems a shiny veneer for a reintroduction to a yoke of slavery. So I'll rest in Christ, messy as I am, because Hebrews 4 indicates that he is my Sabbath and being in him means I've ceased from my labours. It doesn't mean I do nothing (when Ephesians 2:10 tells me there's plenty to do), but it means it is God who does the work in and through me. We do both: strain ahead and rest. The biblical texts seem to find no contradiction in these concepts...so I don't need to either.
Such freedom we've been given! Even freedom to embrace ourselves in the messiness, because Christ welcomes us - hurting, broken, limping and receives us as we are.
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