Repentance

 For a number of months (maybe years) I've been exploring the theme of repentance - what it is, isn't, how it's been presented and portrayed, and what I may have gotten wrong about what it means to repent. I have more thoughts than what landed in this poem - thoughts on shame, guilt, cleansing, bondage, freedom, agency, and hope. Maybe I'll come back to it and explore and elaborate more. For now, here's a smattering of reflections I gathered in my musings.

Repentance 

Do you think you may have lost your way? 

I have, so often. 

More than you know! 

More than even I know. 

I think the castle that is me 

Is hospitable for a holy indwelling. 

And surely that Presence 

Makes holy every crevice 

He may enter. 

Could it be 

I might not see,

Or know, what lurks in hidden 

Passages of my soul? 

Not only a healing balm, 

And Comfort's grace, 

And Beauty's kindness, 

And Wisdom's help, 

Do I need. 

There is more: 

A tender revealing, 

Conviction's fire, 

The gift can only be given, 

If I can receive -

To repent, open my eyes

To see how I've lost my way. 

I don't like to think on it. 

There's a fine line, 

A tightrope to tread -

That thread of grace. 

If shame threatens, I tremble 

And risk descent

To peril's clutches. 

I must keep my footing, 

Or rather, find a footing 

On level, straight paths, 

For I have not leaned on

My own understanding. 

That tightrope is truth.

I brave the opening of my eyes

And utter the sinner's prayer, 

Audacious, bold:

"I see only dimly my need for You. 

I ask to be guided from shame to grace, 

From doubt to healing, 

From wandering to my settled

Joyful home, 

In the heart of Your love." 

Such a prayer, I trust, 

He delights to answer. 

For every promise is 'Yes' 

With this One. 

He welcomes such a plea -

So, fellow pilgrim, 

Will you journey with me, 

On this path of mercy, 

To the throne of grace? 

There is help for us in our time of need.