Journal Entry from 18 August 1999

Well, I've just decided to go to Hong Kong. I can't say exactly why I'm going - just to do this TESL course I suppose and because Mom and Dad seem to want me there. I'm not even exactly sure if this is what I ought to be doing for the next 4 months, but it's been decided. I'm only really concerned about how I'll manage financially. I don't know if I'll find any good English teaching jobs, on top of that, if I do, I wonder how I'd fare since I don't feel all that capable of English teaching! I'm a bit concerned about leaving the apartment without properly packing up. But I suppose it's just like me to up and leave on a whim. I'm also worried that when I get back I won't have any more piano students or that when I explain that I'm leaving (piano students that is) - they won't be too happy - since four months is a long break from piano lessons. I guess I'm just really trusting that this is what God wants me to do - even though I'm not really sure. I just wish I had more time to get everything done. I really hope we find someone to room here while I'm gone or else I'll have to pay rent in my absence. I'm really praying God will provide for a roommate and English jobs in Hong Kong.
I really enjoy my life here in Wheaton. In leaving I wonder if I'm walking into something over my head - especially if I stay until Christmas time. Christmas can be such a busy time in the Crutchfield household. I suppose I'll grit my teeth and bear through it. I wonder if I'll have a social life. I guess I don't have much of one here, so no big deal if I don't. It's not as if I'm sacrificing anything in that area, although I know I will really miss my friends and piano student families who seem to have adopted this lonesome soul.
I guess Hong Kong is my lot for now. As I've been learning (my whole life), "For I have learned in whatsoever state (or country) I am, therewith to be content." Pardon the King James English but I like how that verse sounds that way. I think I'll follow Paul's example in this and learn to be content though I really haven't a clue as to what exactly lies ahead. I'm sure I can trust God in all things, to meet all my needs, and I can be content whatever the circumstances.
I guess I won't be getting to play much tennis like I've been able to this summer with Melissa. She wants to come visit me in Hong Kong. I doubt it'll really happen, but I guess it's possible if she gets a cheap flight.
I must say I am kind of excited about going to Hong Kong, but I still can't believe I'm really going. I've gotten kind of tired of being in this country. I haven't exited these borders for just over a year, and I'm feeling stifled. It's so boring, albeit pleasant, here. I need to get away.


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