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Monday, October 7, 2013

50 Reasons to Leave a Church

Disclaimer: I'm not saying these are the reasons you should leave a Church.  Just throwing out a bunch of reasons why people DO leave churches.  I'll let you guess as to what the legitimate ones are.

Here we go: 50 Reasons to Leave a Church

1.  You changed your religion
2.  They wouldn't let you paint, "Smile! God Loves You!" for the gym floor mural
3.  It's no longer a democracy, and we all know democracy was the heavenly prescribed best method for how to govern a church
4.  They removed that stained glass window you so liked
5.  The music is rock-band style
6.  The music is not rock-band style
7.  You are allergic to people
8.  They're not spending money the way you want them to (and we all know that how a church divvies up funds is the crux of everything so you will vote with your feet and dollars and go elsewhere).
9.  The preaching is dry and boring
10.  They don't have a program for everyone in the family
11.  It's too big
12.  It's too small
13.  They wouldn't let me do my song and dance on stage
14.  They didn't support you in your marathon for (insert pet cause here)
15.  They have too many potlucks
16.  They never seem to have potlucks - and we know fellowship is all about the food.
17.  They're always telling you what the Bible says - where's the pop-psychology and pep-talk, man?
18.  They never tell you what the Bible says - Why is it all pop-psychology and pep-talks these days?
19.  Leaders will not hear an honest, humble, Biblical rebuke
20.  Heresy
21.  They tolerate open, unconfronted, unrepented sin among its members on an ongoing basis
22.  People aren't willing to gossip with you anymore - so it's time to find a place with more gossipy people so you don't have to change your conversation style
23.  Churches are for seasons - this one is good for this season, that one is good for another.  In this season of my life I'll go here - when I wear out the novelty, I'll go there.  It's a consumer society after all.
24.  They are too seeker sensitive
25.  They are not seeker sensitive at all.  They need to talk to me about the perfect balance - but no one asked
26.  Someone wore perfume without asking about your major allergy to the stuff.  Surely there is a fragrance free, democracy style, music to my preference, Bible teaching to the degree I like (as long as no mention of submitting to spiritual leaders is mentioned), dress-code Church around here somewhere?
27.  They changed the carpet/wall-colour/bathroom tile/curtains/light fixtures (etc). without asking your permission
28.  When you volunteered to bring cupcakes to the 3 year-old Sunday School class, they turned you down.  'I'm so out of here!' you said.
29.  The pastor isn't gregarious enough
30.  The pastor doesn't wear a tie
31.  The pastor uses a preachy voice
32.  The pastor is too casual/formal/uptight/loose/trendy/awkward
33.  The pastor didn't come when my Aunt Bertha had surgery on her big toe
34.  They turned down my offer to teach Sunday School, start a Ladies' Aid Society, host a Purple Hat group, start a soup kitchen, announce/collect for a food drive...
35.  They won't let my kid play violin with the other musicians
36.  They didn't give me double votes even though I doubled my giving
37.  It isn't meeting my needs (Right now I need encouragement and the messages are too convicting...Right now I need support/help but we're being challenged to give more...Right now I need someone to hold my hand and teach me the basics, but they're feeding us spiritual solid food - meat, even!)
38.  XYZ Church over there has a new happening thing going on, and I want to get in on it.
39.  My kid broke up with his girlfriend in the youth group and it's just too uncomfortable to go there anymore
40.  They are not practicing what I consider to be the only right way to run 'church' - they use the wrong lingo - they say, 'church' instead of 'meeting' or 'assembly'. They have a clergy/laity divide.  They have a pastor or they don't have a pastor.  They let women audibly participate in worship or they don't let women audibly participate.  They are not practicing what I consider to be New Testament Principles (There's a whole list of them if you're interested).
41.  They didn't kick so-and-so out of fellowship though she gossips and destroys unity in the church.
42.  They kicked so-and-so out of fellowship which is so judgemental of them
43.  They practice church discipline (we should just love everyone and accept them even if they are unrepentant of confronted sin)
44.  They don't practice church discipline
45. I didn't marry the church, so it's not like I'm divorcing it by leaving
46.  The leaders are stubborn, belligerent, unapproachable and iron-fisted
47.  They choose leaders by the worlds standards: success in business or politics = potential church leader.
48.  They choose leaders by the Biblical standards: godliness, temperance, able to teach, humility, devoted.  The leaders they picked don't have the clout and acumen among the big-wigs of the world.
49.  There was a scandal.  They didn't handle it right.  I'm outta here.
50.  I just don't like it anymore




So, these were all I thought of off the top of my head.  Can you think of any others?

4 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Of course they are!!! Thanks Neil!

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  2. The most common reason I've ever left a church for is because of moving. Usually that means a major move, to a different state or country--but a couple years ago when I got married, a move meant that my 25 minutes away church would now be over an hour drive away, which isn't realistic if you want to get involved at all. That was harder, because technically the church is still within reach, and I still really appreciate it, but a roundtrip drive of over 2 hours several times a week isn't very reasonable when there are many churches within 15 minutes of home. So that's just on the practical side. :) And from my experience, having to leave a church because of moving can be all-too heartbreaking. But I've heard many of these reasons, too!

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    Replies
    1. Moving is a valid reason! Thanks for pointing this out!

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