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Friday, September 4, 2015

I Apologize

I want to issue a retraction and apology.  Often I have written about anxiety, worry and fear.  I even coined a phrase: 'W.A.F.fing'.  And now I regret some of what I've said.  I haven't even gone back to look.  I might cringe if I did.

Because I thought that fear and anxiety was really something to do with lacking trust - a spiritual issue, if you will.  There may be some truth in that thought, but it isn't all the truth of it.  Sometimes anxiety can hit and it isn't your fault.  It isn't because you aren't spiritual enough.  It isn't because you haven't developed your soul or done your internal homework.  Doing spiritual exercises, I'm sure, can help.  But there is a level of anxiety and fear I never understood or knew was possible until recently.

I don't need to go into it all here, now.  (Maybe someday I'll write on my own experiences).  But I just want to issue this apology to my readers, lest I have offended, hurt, discouraged or rebuked any of you needlessly - you who might suffer from bouts of fear and anxiety.  I haven't been fair.  I haven't understood.  I vow to change how I write on this subject.

Yes, we need to grow in faith and trust God.  Yes, we need to reflect that He is Sovereign, powerful and keeps us - He KEEPS us.  A powerful truth.  I believe it.  And still...there is anxiety at times.  Perfect love casts out fear - that's in the Bible.  And still, there is fear.  I get it.  I understand.  No more will I tell you how to solve your internal crises.  Instead I'll reflect with you and engage with what you experience.

I'm sorry if I've been radical and failed to fully understand the complexities of anxiety.  You have my sympathy, you who suffer through these things.

God meets us in it, for sure.

But often He meets us hurting and needy, and not needing a lecture.  Instead He meets us where we're at - discouraged, confused, disoriented by life.  And He welcomes us.  This, more than anything, helps anxiety.  More than reading the Bible more, praying more, thinking more, doing more.  HE, more than anything else, at the end of the day is there in our anxiety.


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