Collecting Manna: A Family of Faith
You might like to know what I think of having a family such as ours. I think it is ridiculous. Absolutely crazy. Something no-one in their right mind would undertake. And I only have 5 kids and a couple in-laws. I told my mother-in-law when she moved in, "The number of kids we have depends on a lot of things, but a big one is how much extra help I have. I can't do this without extra support." And so her presence has been helpful as the last 2 of our kids were born while she has been here with us. She was able, during those years, to hold infants, cut up grapes for toddlers, help them wash hands and go potty - an extra pair of hands and eyes (even legally blind eyes) - went a long way to supporting us in this crazy endeavour of raising a gaggle of kids. Now it is the kids' turn to look in on her - to see if she is ok - to read aloud to her and to refill her sugar bowl. This is how things go in our household.
It is a big leap to decide to get married - to think I can commit to this man for 'until death parts us'. It takes great faith - not in me and my determination to make it work - but in God, Who guards, keeps, carries, protects, sustains and assists. I always said, 'If I'd have waited til I was ready to get married, I would never have done it.' And then, when the babies came along, it was no different. It requires faith to bring a child into the world - even if you are a faithless person, who claims no belief in God - it is an expression of faith to willingly bear a child and to raise him or her in this hostile world. Having babies, for me, was the ultimate act of trust.
And so we had our kids, and they are growing and there are challenges, just like everyone has.
And we continue to live by faith - trusting God to undertake for them what we can't do or make happen. It is a big test of letting go - there are so many shifts along the way. I used to want to re-create for them a certain kind of perfection - what I wanted them to know, feel, enjoy, experience. I wanted to re-manufacture whatever I knew as good in my life, and download it into their world. It took me a while to figure out it just doesn't work this way. This was a lesson in letting go and relinquishing control of their lives to the good and unique journey God has them on.
The Collecting of Manna and Telling of Manna Stories at our table has not been an intentional effort. I haven't decided, 'We will shape their faith and orchestrate the telling of faith stories so as to influence them.' I think this is what happens a lot in Christian circles - intentional is the buzz word. I haven't set any intention in regards to these stories. They just emerge: Plain as day. It was actually the kids who asked to hear them. I'm not suggesting you be unintentional. It might be something God directs you to do in your family, or not.
What I find exciting is to see faith develop in each of them in their own ways. And how God meets them in their own needs and desires. So much of my faith-parenting-journey is allowing God to meet my kids His way, in His time. We so much promote the idea of our Christian faith being about relationship, not religion (yet, can we all just get over it? Christianity is actually a religion too - and this need not be a negative connotation forever and ever, amen?!?!?) Sorry, side rant there. I'll keep that for another post...or not.
A number of months ago, Priscilla discovered she really could use a laptop for school and homework since our family one is extremely slow and used by multiple people and is no longer a laptop (thanks to Hannah throwing a lightsaber and it accidentally hitting the screen and so an external screen is rigged up, rendering it a stationary object rather than a mobile thing...ahh the patience induced in raising children - did I tell the one about the floor-to-ceiling window that was shattered when boys fought over a magnet and it flew... again, for another time). She saved what little money she had from working odd jobs and had bought herself a modest, bare-bones model mini-laptop. It was working for her for the most part, but recently she said she wished she could get a real laptop that would work better for her purposes. But she doesn't have a job (yet, she's working on it), and little opportunity to make money. She didn't request we get her one (somehow our kids rarely, if ever, pester us for things).
Yesterday, through the generosity of a stranger, she was told that her diligence and hard work as a student had awarded her a laptop. I don't know how or who this came from, but she received this gift and was amazed to see how it meets and exceeds what she needed or wanted. I can't tell you what kind it is (I'm not very techy) - it's silvery grey and the screen comes off and you can touch it to make it do stuff. (There, how's that for an apt description?!)
I reflected on the day and realized again the goodness of God - and how He showers His gifts on us. It is not that I am just thankful - I am deeply moved by the kindness God shows me each day. Thankful seems too small a word to describe what I feel.
I am not writing these stories as some kind of pollyanna, rose-coloured-glasses view of the works of God in our lives.
I understand at the deepest level there are pains and sorrows, losses and sufferings, heartaches and misery. I daily remember the friends and family who've gone on ahead, and I miss them, and I shed tears wishing death were no more, that loss would be reversed. I also grieve with those whose children have been hurtful, who bear deep wounds, whose lives are scarred by rejection, abuse, scorn, abandonment, addictions, disorders and the like. Feel-good stories are not a mockery of the pain and suffering of life.
But I feel it is an honest reflection, to remember the kind abundance of the providence of God, along with the mysterious ways He allows sorrow to come. Shall we receive blessing from the Lord and not sorrow as well? In all things, I circle back to the fact that God is in all of life: working, holding, knowing, seeing, and acting on behalf of those who seek him. And for those who aren't? I believe He is acting on their behalf, seeking them, calling them, wooing them by His love.
It is a big leap to decide to get married - to think I can commit to this man for 'until death parts us'. It takes great faith - not in me and my determination to make it work - but in God, Who guards, keeps, carries, protects, sustains and assists. I always said, 'If I'd have waited til I was ready to get married, I would never have done it.' And then, when the babies came along, it was no different. It requires faith to bring a child into the world - even if you are a faithless person, who claims no belief in God - it is an expression of faith to willingly bear a child and to raise him or her in this hostile world. Having babies, for me, was the ultimate act of trust.
And so we had our kids, and they are growing and there are challenges, just like everyone has.
And we continue to live by faith - trusting God to undertake for them what we can't do or make happen. It is a big test of letting go - there are so many shifts along the way. I used to want to re-create for them a certain kind of perfection - what I wanted them to know, feel, enjoy, experience. I wanted to re-manufacture whatever I knew as good in my life, and download it into their world. It took me a while to figure out it just doesn't work this way. This was a lesson in letting go and relinquishing control of their lives to the good and unique journey God has them on.
The Collecting of Manna and Telling of Manna Stories at our table has not been an intentional effort. I haven't decided, 'We will shape their faith and orchestrate the telling of faith stories so as to influence them.' I think this is what happens a lot in Christian circles - intentional is the buzz word. I haven't set any intention in regards to these stories. They just emerge: Plain as day. It was actually the kids who asked to hear them. I'm not suggesting you be unintentional. It might be something God directs you to do in your family, or not.
What I find exciting is to see faith develop in each of them in their own ways. And how God meets them in their own needs and desires. So much of my faith-parenting-journey is allowing God to meet my kids His way, in His time. We so much promote the idea of our Christian faith being about relationship, not religion (yet, can we all just get over it? Christianity is actually a religion too - and this need not be a negative connotation forever and ever, amen?!?!?) Sorry, side rant there. I'll keep that for another post...or not.
A number of months ago, Priscilla discovered she really could use a laptop for school and homework since our family one is extremely slow and used by multiple people and is no longer a laptop (thanks to Hannah throwing a lightsaber and it accidentally hitting the screen and so an external screen is rigged up, rendering it a stationary object rather than a mobile thing...ahh the patience induced in raising children - did I tell the one about the floor-to-ceiling window that was shattered when boys fought over a magnet and it flew... again, for another time). She saved what little money she had from working odd jobs and had bought herself a modest, bare-bones model mini-laptop. It was working for her for the most part, but recently she said she wished she could get a real laptop that would work better for her purposes. But she doesn't have a job (yet, she's working on it), and little opportunity to make money. She didn't request we get her one (somehow our kids rarely, if ever, pester us for things).
Yesterday, through the generosity of a stranger, she was told that her diligence and hard work as a student had awarded her a laptop. I don't know how or who this came from, but she received this gift and was amazed to see how it meets and exceeds what she needed or wanted. I can't tell you what kind it is (I'm not very techy) - it's silvery grey and the screen comes off and you can touch it to make it do stuff. (There, how's that for an apt description?!)
I reflected on the day and realized again the goodness of God - and how He showers His gifts on us. It is not that I am just thankful - I am deeply moved by the kindness God shows me each day. Thankful seems too small a word to describe what I feel.
I am not writing these stories as some kind of pollyanna, rose-coloured-glasses view of the works of God in our lives.
I understand at the deepest level there are pains and sorrows, losses and sufferings, heartaches and misery. I daily remember the friends and family who've gone on ahead, and I miss them, and I shed tears wishing death were no more, that loss would be reversed. I also grieve with those whose children have been hurtful, who bear deep wounds, whose lives are scarred by rejection, abuse, scorn, abandonment, addictions, disorders and the like. Feel-good stories are not a mockery of the pain and suffering of life.
But I feel it is an honest reflection, to remember the kind abundance of the providence of God, along with the mysterious ways He allows sorrow to come. Shall we receive blessing from the Lord and not sorrow as well? In all things, I circle back to the fact that God is in all of life: working, holding, knowing, seeing, and acting on behalf of those who seek him. And for those who aren't? I believe He is acting on their behalf, seeking them, calling them, wooing them by His love.
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