Anger in Parenting Part 2
I posted on the dilemma of anger as a parent back in July. I just read a great blog on why it is right for us to be angry when injustice is done (by Bryan Hodge at www.theologicalsushi.blogspot.com).
I was glad to hear back from so many of you on the subject - some with verses and reminders and general ideas on the matter.
I don't know if there is a one-size-fits-all approach to this. So much of parenting seems to need constant nuanced adjustments - like steering on a road. Each kid is different and some can hear through the blunders and others require perfectly measured doses of child-sized wisdom to be applied to their hearts.
So that raises the question - do the easy kids (who get things quicker, take it in sooner, respond to your input promptly...) somehow get the brunt of it? Do they get short-changed because they weren't being squeaky wheels?
I am realizing that anger in parenting is/can be definitely harmful and sinful. How can I expect my children to display self-control if I don't model it for them? I am reminded of the verse about teachers being judged more harshly - every parent must shudder to realize that verse is talking about ME. We are all teaching whether we like it or not, realize it or not, or rise to the challenge or not. This is perhaps the main reason I needed to marry someone so much better than me on all fronts except cooking, writing and piano playing - otherwise there would be little hope for my kids!
I am just throwing these thoughts out there - exploring the territory. Do you struggle with anger at your children? I am noticing, after examining my own heart that some of my anger is merely frustration - impatience at their childish ways. And I am convicted because 'the fruit of the Spirit is...patience,' and 'Love is patient.' If I get irritated because a child's lack of quick obedience (perhaps slow obedience - 2 year olds are especially slow, in case you haven't noticed!), I think my frustration boils into sinful anger. Better to patiently call the child to a higher standard, implementing any disciplinary measures you've established, and move forward in love. Can you see Jesus getting irritated with a slow-to-move child? I just can't. He patiently sat with the children, possibly putting aside other 'significant ministry endeavours' in order to be with them.
I'll continue to come back to this topic - as I'm sure my parenting skills will need much more honing in this area!
Tell me what you think of anger as a parent - the good, the bad, and the ugly!
I was glad to hear back from so many of you on the subject - some with verses and reminders and general ideas on the matter.
I don't know if there is a one-size-fits-all approach to this. So much of parenting seems to need constant nuanced adjustments - like steering on a road. Each kid is different and some can hear through the blunders and others require perfectly measured doses of child-sized wisdom to be applied to their hearts.
So that raises the question - do the easy kids (who get things quicker, take it in sooner, respond to your input promptly...) somehow get the brunt of it? Do they get short-changed because they weren't being squeaky wheels?
I am realizing that anger in parenting is/can be definitely harmful and sinful. How can I expect my children to display self-control if I don't model it for them? I am reminded of the verse about teachers being judged more harshly - every parent must shudder to realize that verse is talking about ME. We are all teaching whether we like it or not, realize it or not, or rise to the challenge or not. This is perhaps the main reason I needed to marry someone so much better than me on all fronts except cooking, writing and piano playing - otherwise there would be little hope for my kids!
I am just throwing these thoughts out there - exploring the territory. Do you struggle with anger at your children? I am noticing, after examining my own heart that some of my anger is merely frustration - impatience at their childish ways. And I am convicted because 'the fruit of the Spirit is...patience,' and 'Love is patient.' If I get irritated because a child's lack of quick obedience (perhaps slow obedience - 2 year olds are especially slow, in case you haven't noticed!), I think my frustration boils into sinful anger. Better to patiently call the child to a higher standard, implementing any disciplinary measures you've established, and move forward in love. Can you see Jesus getting irritated with a slow-to-move child? I just can't. He patiently sat with the children, possibly putting aside other 'significant ministry endeavours' in order to be with them.
I'll continue to come back to this topic - as I'm sure my parenting skills will need much more honing in this area!
Tell me what you think of anger as a parent - the good, the bad, and the ugly!
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