So there we were on our walk home with Sam telling me his life story. I was going to digress and tell his life story here, but I'll leave that for now and maybe revisit it some time. A few highlights were: him growing up in Zambia, heading off to boarding school at age 5 - away from home for 3 months at a time! But he had 3 older sisters who doted on him so it sounds like he did okay. (Side note: when considering marrying someone, do observe if it is a younger brother with 3 older sisters - the kind a fellow this turns out to be can be very interesting, having had the love heaped on him since infancy! :) ) He spent time in the U.S. throughout his childhood/growing up years. His Dad had his first brain tumour when Sam was only 10 or so. Throughout the next 12 years his Dad continued to have brain tumours that would receive treatment/surgeries. When Sam was 22 years old, his Dad had his 4th brain tumour, which is what took his life. Sam spent his last term of college in Zambia at his Dad's bedside. After Sam was done with college he took a trip with his best friend on motorcycles from Israel to South Africa over an 8 month time span. He told me many stories from this time. Then he had found a job with GRACO a baby -products company and had ended up in China overseeing production there. And that is how he came to be in our neck of the woods just then.
Needless to say, I listened with rapt attention. This was my kind of guy. Full of adventure, excitement, daring and yet with rich life experiences. I so badly wished we were more than just friends.
Sam remembers that night too - our long walk and the one time I let him talk without interruption. Still working on that.
That evening we sat on the roof and shared the nutshell of our life stories. At somewhere around midnight we got up to go in as it was a bit cool and we were tired. So far we were just a couple of lonesome souls getting to know each other and there was purely platonic intentions on...HIS part. (Hee hee). Just before going inside he said, 'Can I give you a hug?' I said, 'Sure' and he warmly bear-hugged me. I think we were both starved for physical affection, and yet we weren't in a romantic relationship as of yet. This is something I think is a thorn in the flesh for people who are single. Physical affection is a human need - and as a side note - if you don't have it coming from close relationships, get a pet, babysit, work in the nursery with toddlers to sit on your lap and receive hugs from little children. We all need a human embrace from time to time.
The following day was uneventful and he returned to work in China and we had to wait a whole week longer to see each other. At least that's what I was thinking. I figured he was still like, 'Oh, yeah, Sarah. She's nice. Enough. Back to work.'
But by Tuesday I think he had a change of heart.
What brought about that fateful day, I am not quite sure - probably God.
We were writing back and forth via email which I've posted some of them here - and we would just talk like the way people text now I suppose. But at one point he said something that I got irritated about. I can't remember exactly what it was and can't look it up just now - but it hinted that he had a lot to do and I could just wait around until he answered - assuming I was just sitting on pins and needles to hear from him. Well, he was right, but I wasn't about to admit it. So I quit replying. I knew it was a critical moment to do this. Because I had read The Rules and knew it was really bad if he thought he could just write whenever and I'd be there. I willed myself very strongly, and exercised every force of my effort to withhold communicating - I think I gave myself like a 24 hour 'fast' from emails and such. It was unbearable.
But it worked.