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Friday, January 21, 2011

How I Met Sam Part 1

People have often asked me to write the story of my life. Well, we haven't got all day, and since I am incredibly scatter-brained I'm just going to start where it gets interesting and if I get around to filling in the first 22 years of my life, then maybe I will, someday. (In other words, not likely).

I won't do it all in one post, of course. No one would have the time to read it. Here is Installment 1:

After completing college I had no plans. I moved in with my sister who was studying for a Master’s degree at Wheaton College. This was a convenient next step for me. It was the beginning of my true independence. I was able to get a job with a temporary work agency which would find short-term jobs for me to do. I liked this flexibility and the experience of working in a variety of places. I also began to teach piano part-time, which I greatly enjoyed. During the two years that I lived in Wheaton I was quite a social hermit. I didn’t know many people, I didn’t have many friends, and I enjoyed being alone. I had roommates and that was enough interaction for me. Instead of being lonely, I ended up eating suppers with some of my piano-students’ families. I felt like I was adopted into a few families and welcomed to be with them after I taught lessons. I preferred being with families than with a bunch of single people. Perhaps it was the child in me who still considered adults to be boring. Adults with no kids around can actually become boring, if they’re not careful! I view this time of my life as preparation and training for family life in the future. I was able to see weaknesses and strengths in families. I was able to observe and imagine how I wanted my life to be if I ever had a family.
Even though I did secretly long for a husband and a family, I felt these were off-limits to me. I had seen and known the tumults of half-committed relationships, and was cured for life from such entanglements. I figured I would just have to remain single because the system of dating was standard operating procedure and I was not going to partake! I struggled very much with God over singleness. What if God’s best for me was to be single? How could I ever be content with that?! Wouldn’t I want His best? But if His best meant for me to not have a husband could I trust Him and want to be single? I wrestled and prayed and longed and hoped and despaired and vacillated. After a number of months, I did come to a deep peace about being single. Granted, I was only 21 or so, but I came to a peace about trusting God’s will for me, and wanting His best, whatever that involved. It made sense to me that God wanted me to remain single. Because of that, I did not engage much in social activity involving any single guys. There was the occasional guy I would be interested in, but I generally did not get my hopes up.

Follow this link to Part 2!

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